She reached home tired carrying grocery baggages. She remembered she had missed to get the special tea powder for him; one good reason for him to shout. Cursing herself and frustrated she entered the hall.
“Honey, coffee for you?” He was heading towards kitchen.
She threw packages down, went and hugged him from behind, smiling.
Sara closed her eyes tight, dived deep into the blanket, but still couldn’t sleep properly. Not more than five minutes, she popped her head out; took a deep breath. Got up and sat on the bed with her blanket draped tightly on her. She moved her hands aimlessly on the bed. There was no one other than her; empty.
A breeze brushed her. She looked out. The sky looked adorable with stars and the stunning moon. She felt the breeze carried some message. Somebody was trying to call her, tell her something. Spreading her hands on the bed she closed her eyes. For the last few years she had shared this room with someone special, never had slept alone over here except for the last two days. It was all fun to be on this bed at any point of time.
She heaved a deep sigh
Again the breeze came. She got up from the bed and headed towards the window. With her moist eyes she saw the full moon. She felt as if it wanted to say something to her. Did she see a smile coming from the moon? They always used to imagine moon with smiles. With a shade of sadness she remembered how they used to get imaginative talking about moon. They used to humanize the moon and were their next best friend. They enjoyed the peaceful pearl colored moon rays that were showered upon them.
She went upstairs, opened the door and reached the terrace. The trees surrounding her house were not in their best of moods. The intermittent breeze was trying its best to wake them up and make the leaves dance with it. It seems they are also not in a mood. A heavy sadness prevailed over the area. She came to the corner of the terrace and stared at the moon. Moments flew and the moon winked at her. Rather she felt so. She pinched herself to check reality. Another stare at the moon she felt the moon was calling her: trying to say something.
She ran downstairs, past her bedroom, living hall and the main door in a jiffy and rushed on to the rocky garden outside her compound. Reaching onto the top of that rocky garden she looked up to the sky. The moon was shining more brightly showering silver rays. Panting, she could feel the presence of someone. She held her hands high pointing the moon. A cool breeze came from nowhere. She embraced herself tight. This is the spot where they used to chat about life, love and children, the place where they used to sing songs together, fight with each other under the moonlight, the place where they sat together in union with the nature.
Emma, I miss you…You were more than a twin sister to me. Hope, your untimely death will not part us away. Come hug me…
She could feel; the hug. The breeze, moonlight and the night hugged her.
From somewhere, Emma hugged her.
He could not see her eyes. Her face was searching for something in the sand. Her toes were making some random shapes on it. And time to time, the waves cleared whatever she tried to draw, slowly and calmly. The birds were flying towards to horizon. There was no chirping. Just flying steadily, carrying grief. There was no breeze at all. The people who were there on beach seemed emotionless. The sea itself seemed tired. The sun looked dim. One more look at her. She is still sitting keeping her face down. He could see her lips trembling, her fingers restless. Her hair was covering her cheeks. A deep sigh!
He swam through his thoughts. How the hell I will convince her? Can she live without me? Will she smile again? Yeah, but this is good for her. Pain at this stage will be better for her. If she can wipe out all our memories, it’s better for her. Let her find time to get out of me. Let her start hating me. After all I am breaking a divine relationship, without giving much of reasons. But its fine. She will recover from this. She will learn to live without me. He wanted to say a lot. But words stuck somewhere down his throat. He could sense his heartbeats skipping, knees weakening, stomach contracting.
“Goodbye Veda. Wish you the best in your life, the best man, the best family, the best everything. We were not meant to be together. It will be good if we stop everything over here. There is a great life ahead for you. Just understand, he paused, we were not destined to be together”
She didn’t say anything. A deep sigh, again.
“But why Avneep? You never loved me or what? Where did we go wrong. What about our dreams? What about our…” She sobbed. She raised her face. He could see her eyes. It was moist. She fumbled. Tears were almost trying to escape from her eyes.
“There is no answer to your why. This has to happen. There is no way out. I had lots of thoughts. I fought with my inner self. Let’s not discuss about it much. Rather I don’t want to. As you said, maybe I am cruel. Let it be like that.” He felt like stabbing himself. It started drizzling. Rain drops got bigger and bigger. She was getting drenched. She always looks beautiful with wet hair, he thought. He always loved her face covered with rain drops.
He turned back. Took all the courage, he walked and walked. He wanted to run. He could sense his legs getting limp. He wished to go back and hold her hands. Burry her under his arms and hold the warmth intact. He wanted to wrap her face with his palms. Kiss her eternally. Feel her fragrance. He wanted to cry. And he did. The rain drops got mixed with his tears. He dared not to look back. He didn’t want to see her standing helplessly. He hoped she be strong.
…….
He still can’t memorize the name of the cancer he was subjected to.
The only thing he knew was, there is no return.
Not once not twice,
I call your name a thousand times
Hoping secretly you will hear it atleast once…
Is it something people say to be aware of
I mean is this what people say is love…
Your smile moves my heart,
Its got the innocence of a child
And your eyes got the hunger for me…
Behind those beautiful eyes lies deep grief..
I can see it though you never say a word
Come, let me be the one to hold you tight..
Give me your sorrows and I will shu them away…
Your dreamy eyes are meant to love
Remember I Am always there for you…
I don’t know. I really love spending time with her. If someone asks me why I am attracted to her, I got hundreds of reasons. No other woman had made me feel this way.
Her lips are so pink in color. Every other girl envied this part of hers. There is a talk among guys that nobody else’s lips are as ripe as hers. Perfectly shaped and curved. Looking into those lips itself is a great pleasure. But the best feature in her face is her smile. Her smile had captivated lots of guy’s desires in my class. The way she smiles is something worth watching.
I am very lucky to have her as a friend. I am the one who spends the most time with her in college. She is never attached to anyone else as the way she is to me. But does she know me? Does she understand me or my feelings? Does she that I love her?
I don’t think so.
Yeah, I am in love with her. Her smile, her gentle touch, her chatter, her cribbing, her excitements, her enthusiasm, the way she walks, the way she dances, the way she hum tunes, the way she gets angry, the way she play with kids, the way she handle people, her opinions, her eccentricities and what not.
Yeah, I am in love with her. Her sparkling eyes, her wide smile, her beautiful nose, her protruding lips, her perfectly curved body, her dressing sense, her smell, her voice, her hugs and what not?
Yeah, I am in love with her. But does she know that? She won’t ever realize how much I love her. Even if she realize she won’t understand me. She will never respect my feelings for her, my cravings for her, my desires to be with her, to be pampered by her, to pamper her, to be caressed by her. Never ever I can reveal my desire to spend my whole life with her, to make love with her.
Loving her is becoming a pain. A pain which I can never share with anyone else. Even if I share it will only elevate my pain. Damn this world. Nobody is there to understand to my feelings. Nobody is there to accept my feelings even if they understand.
After all in this society it is a taboo for a woman to have such feelings for other woman.
Damn this world !!
I wish to open my eyes
And see you lying next to me
With your arms draped over me
With that naughty smile on your face
I wish, yeah, I wish…
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